It is the first day of 2011. Today is the first day of what promises to be a life changing year. I know that sounds corny, but it is true. There are so many things that are going to be different for 2011. First is the obvious....a new baby. The addition of one more little monkey around here is sure to change my life and will definitely turn Miss Sarah's world upside down. She just doesn't even know what is going to hit her in 6 months! Second is something that hasn't been announced to the world, but some already know about. So, as a valued blog reader, I shall fill you in...
Josh and I are separated. Sarah and I moved to Cabot in October. Josh and I have been trying to make our marriage work the whole 4 1/2 years we have been married. We have realized that we are moving in opposite directions and have different dreams for what our life together should be. When we made the decision to separate, things were fine. We could handle it with Sarah and figured things would be fine. Am I happy about all of this? No. I'm embarrassed. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I didn't get married planning with separation/divorce as an option.
Little did we know there was another twist in the story! I found out the week after I moved that I was pregnant. I hate walking around preggo without my wedding rings on. I don't want anyone thinking I'm some hoochie who got knocked up by some random guy. I feel like I need to walk around with a disclaimer above my head that says something like "my husband knocked me up before we separated." I can't wait until the world finds out Josh and I aren't together. I'm sure the stories will really fly about me being pregnant then!!
So, life changing event #2 is learning how to take care of myself and 2 babies on my own. I know lots of women have done it before me, but it is going to take me a while to get the hang of this. I'm doing good to wrap my mind around everything that is happening right now. I never saw myself in this situation, but here I am. This year really will be a day by day journey. I spend a lot of days very lonely (even though I won't admit that out loud often), and I shed a lot of tears at night because my heart hurts, but I know I will be ok. I have a very supportive family, a great group of friends, and a beautiful little girl who depends on me to be ok!
Happy New Year friends! May you have more blessings than you can count in 2011!!